Love Came Down

Lord you're calling me,
Lord you're beckoning, this love abounding,
And I run, I run

I need you, I can't get enough of you,
I come alive when I'm in your presence,
Oh God of my salvation,

Lord you're drawing me,
I am completely, overtaken
Yes I run, Jesus, I run

I need you, I can't get enough of you,
I come alive when I'm in your presence,
Oh God of my salvation,

I need you, I can't get enough of you,
I come alive when I'm in your presence,

Oh God of my salvation,
Lord I'm running, Lord I'm running,
Lord I'm running to you.
Draw me closer,
Lord I'm running, Lord I'm running,
Lord I'm running to you.
Draw me closer

I need you, I can't get enough of you,
I come alive when I'm in your presence,
Oh God of my salvation,

I need you, I can't get enough of you,
I come alive when I'm in your presence,
Oh God of my salvation,

I run to you, Lord, I run, I run, I run,
I run to you. I run to you, I run to you.

Feelings

Do you know what I mean when I say that sometimes I don't have any feelings or emotions? I"m not in a good mood, or a bad mood. I just sit there, by myself, and think. I over think sometimes. I think about what has happened, what will happen, and what could have happened. I think about you, I think about what's wrong in my life, I think about how I can get myself out of this stage, I think about why I got here in the first place. I think about everything and anything.

It's all very confusing.

Today I spent most of my afternoon at Del Monaco winery with 2 of my very best friends and their family. We were there because this is where they are considering getting married. They are planning the beginning of the rest of their lives. I couldn't be happier for them!

Only thing is, as I was pulling out of the parking lot, I had this weird feeling. A feeling that I still am unsure of how to describe. I was so extremely overjoyed to be experiencing this with my friends while at the same time I couldn't keep the thoughts of "when will it be me?" out of my mind. It didn't matter how hard I tried that thought wouldn't leave my mind. Funny thing is that I am okay with being single and getting through my last semester of college. However, this one boy keeps hanging me up with being ok with my single status. He is everything I would want in a guy. But that's what I keep having to remind myself. It's what I want not what God has for me. Well, what he has planned for me right now at least. There are too many uncertainties. I suppose this fall will determine my future, be it a friendship or whatever, with him.

asdfghjkl I wanna know what his deal is. Like from the beginning, everyone was saying that he had a crush on me and I refused to believe that I might have one on him. I mean he's nearly 3 years younger than me and at the time I really was against it. When we first began hanging out with mutual friends I got "he has a crush on you" and "yall are so gonna happen" oh and "i can totally see it" annnd let's not forget "there definitely is something there." How does that help? I was so strong at the beginning. Maybe it was because I was in denial. Maybe it was because I was just so happy to have guy friends for the first time in my life. The more I heard the comments... The more people told me he'd be good for me... The more he and I talked about our futures... The more I wanted them to be true. The more I wanted him to like me. The more I wanted to know about him.

It's all very confusing. All I can do is pray about it and focus on my relationship with God.

"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

Psalm 51:10-12

Create in me a pure heart, O God, renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast your presence away from me, or take Your Holy Spirit away from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me.

ways to my heart

1. love Jesus!
2. buy me quality books.
3. love animals, preferably mine.
4. deal with, accept and love my family as much as I do.
5. recognize that I say and strive to be healthy and eat healthy, but that coffee, mexican food, pasta and cupcakes are among the top importance on my food pyramid.
6. accept and know that I will in fact squeal, giggle, exclaim and fawn over any and every baby or child under the age of about 6 that I see.
7. get me flavored coffee or tea and drink some with me.
8. write me letters. nothing is sexier than seeing your handwriting on paper confessing some lovin.
9. don’t let me always be the one behind the camera, take it from me.
10. I don’t need expensive gifts or jewelry or dates or gestures. If it means something to either one of us I’m going to love it. Oh and the cheesier, the better.

One Desire

In Your presence Lord
I will find my strength
You're the breath in me
You're my everything

With my heart bowed low
And my hands held high
All consuming fire
You're my one desire