chest pains.

How is one to describe feelings when they don't understand what "feelings" they should be referring to?

There is this pain in my chest.

It's a numb feeling that is numb but for some reason i feel like hope is mixed in as well.

Am i holding on to the hope part because i want so badly for it to be true?

Or is it because it is what is to come and i need to have patience?

There are so many points that are perfectly aligned to how i feel it should be for the time.

I get short of breath thinking about what could be.

How am i to think of a future when so much is uncertain today?

How can i allow the past to be the past so easily when i can remember it was sheer torture living it when it was the present?

Why do i allow myself to forgive the past so easily?

I've been down this path before.

I've been let down because of actions like these.

Why am i such a sap for any attention i can get?

I see the others.

Smiling.

Happy.

Shining.

"My time will come," I whisper to myself.

As for now, i have to live with the chest pains.